Our weekend

The dance revue was great- Katia rocked if I do say so! Paul and I went to the show Saturday night- that's our yearly date night you could say. I set her hair in sponge rollers Friday night after the rehearsal and sprayed them generously. Her hair turned out great- I even had moms say they wished I had done their daughter's hair! And it was pretty easy! Paying my sister in law for an updo this year was out of the question and I had done her hair for the revue the first two years so it was a matter of making due with what Mom can do.

This Sunday was my turn to work in the nursery during the service. I always look forward to this- it comes around about every three months. Our nursery is for zero to four year olds. I had my three with me, and four others. Everything was going fine, we were all having fun playing, having snacks, and then this one four year old just seemed to snap. She started scratching other littler kids and Katia down the entire length of her arm, was kicking the wall while spinning in the swivel chairs and being very disrespectful to me. I had problems with her before, but not to this extreme. She just would not listen to me at all and things got out of control fast. I kept my cool on the outside, but was shaking on the inside. I thought, this is not my gift, why did I let Dee put me on this nursery team, I didn't like being volunteered to babysit as a teen. I remember thinking when I was about 18, if I would even be a good mom because of how I felt about watching other people's kids. But having your own is so much different, and you mature. The love that is instantly there as you hold them for the first time and every time thereafter is not something you can even put into words. And at least you can teach them how to respect their parents and adults, to obey, and the consequences if they didn't. Well I suspect this little gal has not had any discipline. So what to do. I thought immediately that I would ask to be taken off the nursery team. That would solve it, for me. I sobbed the entire way home from church, and alot of the afternoon. I don't know why this got to me as it did, but it was all I could to get past it.

But what about this little girl. I talked to her Sunday School teacher later in the day, she had the same problems and said something that really hit me. She said you know if she is not being shown these life skills at home, at least we have her for an hour and a half and can show her that this is not acceptable. We could really help her for the future. Something to ponder, and pray about. I felt much better after talking to this person and my Mother's day got much better. I'll just pray about this whole situation and won't do anything hastily. Satan just loves to shake our peace and what better way than to push your buttons. I'm just not going to cave that easily.

I don't think I have written about Brandon yet- he's Tyler's new best friend and comes over to play nearly everyday. His mom died a month ago- she was diagnosed with brain cancer and died two weeks later. His mom's fiance has taken custody of Brandon and is raising him now. I'm so impressed by that- he has a daughter of his own from a first marriage, but she lives with her mom. So Brandon was over yesterday afternoon. And it struck me that he must have been having such a hard time with this Mother's day. Suddenly my little problem at church seemed so insignificant, how could I have wallowed in my own despair when here was this 10 year old whose life is now completely turned upside down. What pain he must feel when a little gesture by my kids like, "I don't know if I can come out, I have to ask my mom." could literally reduce him to tears. I regret that we didn't invite him for dinner with us. I sure need to be more aware.

So alot of lessons for me this Mother's day...it's not about me, it's not about what I get or where we go for dinner or what a relaxing day I may get, I need to dig deeper in this soul and find out what makes me tick and pray that God will change me in those areas and make me a better person.