Just what I was looking for

What a week. God has surely had me right in the palm of his hand. My MRI couldn't have gone better. I woke up Wednesday morning, had slept well, and felt complete peace and calmness. Went to my mom's where I then took the sedative and then she drove me to the hospital and watched the kids. The technician was helpful and reassuring. I requested that someone stay with me in the room so he stayed right there and told me what to expect, that I was doing great and would just touch my leg once in a while so that I knew he was there. I had to have this cage thing over my head, ear plugs, then extra ear protection. They asked me if I wanted a washcloth for my eyes- highly recommend that. I didn't look at that machine at all, just got on the table and away we went. I sure felt those prayers.

Then the next day, my dr.'s office called and said the MRI looked good. Wow, that was sure nice of them to let me know so soon! And it was good news. I'm not sure what else to make of it since my eye still doesn't squint in the sun and I'm still doing weird things. I bought two half gallons of milk the other night, came home and left them out all night. I had reports due to the Pastor on Monday morning for our monthly board meeting. Forgot to email them to him so I was scrambling that night before our meeting, making copies, and causing our meeting to start late. The wrong words come out sometimes too. So I don't know. Maybe it's a nerve thing or something. The heart tests were done this morning- I had an echocardiogram and an ultrasound of my heart and carotid arteries. I had the 12 lead EKG last week as well and bloodwork. All I know is that Psalms 23:3 means something more to me today. You all know it, we recite it by heart. But I just couldn't put my finger on the the exact feeling until I heard it today at a funeral and then again as I read it again tonight.

Psalms 23:3- He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

I was teetering last week, feeling hopelessness about things that I cannot change. And then that day, this thing with my face happens. God seems to be saying, okay, look I'm going to give you something that will restoreth your soul. I'm going to lead you to paths of righteousness for my name's sake. And that's just what he did. I know my trial isn't yet over with, but I have complete peace. I had prayed about a week ago, okay, God if this is what you want to use to gain them, use me. "Whatever it takes" I said a month before. But in my heart, I also said, I'm not ready to leave my kids without a mom, so I'll fight whatever fight I have ahead. And God heard that silent voice in my heart. I can face whatever it is, because it's me. And I know I have God right with me, but when it's something with my kids, it's so much harder. They want to see you fix it. They want to feel better and expect you to do it, cause your the mom. The first person I called when I had these weird symptoms, my Mom. I was hoping she'd fix it or tell me what to do. And she did- she said to call the dr. and to take an aspirin. Guess what- that's just what the dr. put me on, an aspirin a day. God uses our Moms.
God uses our Dads too. My Dad, what a guy. When my own husband was being insensitive, my Dad said, "you want me to talk to him- I'll set him straight." My dad said he'd pray. I know he did. And when we all went fishing at the park last Saturday and he couldn't get us on the phone, he worried. When you don't have many in your corner, your dad is there.
I hadn't seen my brother in about a year. He and Pam stopped over last Sunday. Awkward, yeah it was. We had an unspoken falling out I guess. A difference in opinion/values and so their visit was a bittersweet one. After about an hour, the ice was broken and we were all laughing and joking like before. Pam has had nine MRI's so she really told me alot of what to expect. It was super helpful. I hadn't heard anything about the cage/helmet thing before so I wasn't shocked to have it. And I didn't know that they might inject dye and so when they did, I was ready. Michael and Pam live in Green Bay, about two hours from here. They come up frequently, but most of us don't see them much at all. So this visit, prompted also by my Dad, was "restorative". God bridged the gap.
So I'm feeling pretty good right now, inside and out. He restored my soul. Thank you Lord.