The Mackinac bridge

Leaving the Upper Peninsula Sunday morning was exciting. It had been a year and truth be known, there is just a feeling that comes over me as I cross the bridge. It's a mix of emotions really. Thankfulness for the life we now have and for the memories and friends we had down there. Sadness that it's been over eight years since we've seen most of them and a bit of heartache for the person I grew to be and left behind there. I'm a different person. It's not that I am longing for the "old" me, it's more of a vacant timeslot in my life. It made me who I am today and made me realize what I was missing without God in my life. When the realization came seven years ago that people here on earth will disappoint and let me down, but that there was my Savior who would always be there for me no matter what- it was pivotal. And my Grandma had told me that when I was like 11 when I accepted the Lord, but it wasn't until later that I realized what that really meant. I put way too much emphasis on Paul being my "everything" and was consistantly let down. Not because he's a bad husband, because he's not- but because he's human and he's let me down when I needed him the most. And because I put him before God. I digress....
I knew I was covered in prayer on the way down- it was sunny and the roads clear. We made great time, got all checked in to the hotel, never got lost, and were able to unwind a bit before hitting the hay. My car has 146,000 miles on it. I was having some trouble with it running rough and the check engine light was going on before I left, but Paul had cleaned the mass flow meter that was causing the codes and it appeared it would only be a minor annoyance. It was on the way down, but it got worse on the way back.
Katia's appointment took forever- we were there for 3 1/2 hours, mostly waiting. I don't know what the deal was, but my patience was wearing thin as I knew were going be getting freezing rain and I was anxious to get on the road. Her optic nerve is exactly the same as a year ago, her visual field tests were actually better than last time, due in part with understanding how to do the test they said. I had noticed the day earlier, some brown spots on the white of her eye- the sclera. I thought I'd ask about it since Paul also had that spots on his eyes and it seemed weird to me. Well the dr. looked and she had more than I had even seen and said that in conjuction with her optic nerve cupping, can be even more of an indicator of glaucoma. So she wanted to see us in 6-12 months- we chose the middle at a 9 month follow-up. In addition, she questioned if Paul has glaucoma- he's never been checked so we'll need to get him in. Could be where this all is coming from. And then again, it could be some weird genetic quirk with Croatians. There are certain groups that are at a higher risk for glaucoma, it's been a while since I read that, but I think Indian decent and African Americans have a higher risk. Anyway...we got out of Ann Arbor about 1pm.
Just north of Flint, I started having worse problems with my car. Joy loaned me her cell phone so I was able to call Paul and he stepped me through fixing my car enough to hopefully make it home. I had to take the cover off the engine- take out the oil filler tube, and disconnect the mass air flow meter. Yeah, picture a long haired GIRL in a pretty long red peacoat with a white scarf working on her car in a gas station parking lot. Nothing like looking vulnerable! My hands were greased stained, but I did it! So we made it to the stop sign and the car died. I got it going again and we got on the expressway. Now down near Flint and Saginaw- you don't go the speed limit of 70, you don't go 73- most are going like 90!!! So if you are going that slow, you have to make sure you are out of their way. I kept making milestones to our progress. Okay if we can make it to Saginaw, I have a friend that lives there....if I can make it to Oscoda, I have a friend that has relatives there- they don't know me, but maybe they'd rescue me. Any stops meant the engine could die again so I kept going as long as I could. The first stopping goal was Gaylord. I know Gaylord and the people are like the yoopers. I could trust a guy to help me without being in harms way. I had to pee so bad, but we made it to Gaylord. The car went though its spit and sputtering and rapid accelerations before we could take off again. One more hour till the land of the free- the bridge I was so eager to go across, I couldn't wait to cross again. Then it would only be three hours if Paul had to come and get me. There's a toll at the bridge so you have to stop- I wondered if my car would die right there, but it didn't! Praise the Lord! We made it home at last at 9:30- the roads were fine- no freezing rain and we made it safely! I am so thankful because today... school is cancelled, there is ice everywhere AND we're getting a bunch of snow later. Only God could work it all out so perfectly. I am very thankful, let me tell you. If I had not been able to disconnect that air flow meter, we'd be stuck north of Flint! I kept saying out loud to God, okay we're in your hands and we are trusting that you will protect us and get us home. He is always so faithful.