Till we meet again

I have many thoughts to write about- too many to make a title today. Miscellany is boring and undescriptive. Life and Death maybe.
Last night as the Frasier's and I were setting up tables for Bob Anderson's funeral tonight- I think we all felt like we wanted the very best for his funeral. Doreen had bought some brand new tablecloths, we put candles and long needle pine sprays near them. We put these little trees around the fireside room- they have tiny gold berries on them that matched the tablecloths. We still had the tulle with lights up in the fireside room so it all just looks very tranquil and relaxing. I went up and hung the funeral banners in the sanctuary and took out the poinsettias. I haven't yet cried about Bob. Maybe the preparations or the thoughts of them thus far have submerged the feelings. Then again, I have felt relieved for him since I heard. The kids and I visited him in November and he was like his-self- we hugged and prayed and he gave his wonderful words of wisdom to Tyler about continuing in the direction he was on. I'm ashamed that we didn't visit him more. My mom was there several times a week and kept me up to date. It has been a depressing thing for her to watch. He is in heaven with many crowns I know. What is most upsetting to me is that Doris has a struggle ahead and not him by her side. That is what I will end up sobbing about. These two sure don't deserve to suffer at all. They are real life examples of Christ-perhaps that is the parallel.
When we made our first trip to Ann Arbor for Katia, she and I went alone. When Bob found out, he was mad and said that had he known we went without Paul- he'd have taken us! He and Doris faithfully prayed for Katia- and I know their prayers helped. Now I'm choked up. They told us that they pray for our family everyday. For Paul...
I think what has sequestered my tears thus far has been that we have been without them both for about six months. We have grieved in a way that they haven't been with us on Sundays or Wednesdays. That's what small churches feel- when a part of the body is missing- we're just off. Doris was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the end of November I believe. She's had a struggle anyway with her knees- a surgery that didn't help. Doris also has glaucoma- she's blind in one eye- so she's had a special place in her heart for Katia.
So that is where I'm at...unable to express what I feel. I think I must be growing because instead of feeling filled with sorrow, I feel happy for Bob. I know I will see him again, that Doris will see him soon and that it's just for a time. As Grandma says, "till we meet again"-it's not goodbye, just till later.