Prodigals

I've found that I've used that term sort of in the wrong context. I always thought the "prodigal son" meant the golden child- the one that could do no wrong. I've used it negatively. I'm reading the book titled Prodigals by Ruth Bell Graham. It's a small book- one I can consume in a week. It was on the shelf at church for the Word of Life coaches to choose to read so I signed it out. I'm almost done with it- hoping to achieve my first level- bronze on Wednesday.

In Word of Life, the teachers or coaches as we call them- have to do all the same things the kids do. We have to memorize the same scriptures and recite them at check in time, take the scripture written tests, have daily quiet times and questions to answer, read and do book reports, and do Group Christian service projects. We all are held accountable and have to report weekly progress just like the kids. Word of Life has it's own University, maybe even more than one now that I think of it- the one I know of is in New York. The program can be run from the tiniest kids up to college and they can earn scholarships to camps or to college. The curriculum is dynamic- I am learning so much and for someone like me who has forgotten alot of the bible stories from my teen years, like about Jacob and Joseph- it's priceless. Our old program had nothing for the teachers- and so by the end of the year, you felt burned out- lost in a dessert because you haven't had much spiritual growth while you were serving in this capacity. We saw a great turnover of teachers as a result. So Word of Life has been a good choice. The kids love it too.
So this little book highlights the famous prodigals and then in the adjacent chapter will highlight those that love them. I have had an eye opening experience, a chastening by God truely. My Dad once told me when I was a teen that I had lost his trust. That was crushing to me and yet I deserved it- I had been dishonest about my whereabouts I think. He wasn't very strict with us, but expected that we were where we said we were. We had implemented a checkin process on paper- we said where we'd be and what time we'd be back. With four kids all out and about- he and Joy needed some type of way to keep it all straight. I think I had said I was at a friends and came home with a very muddy car in the early morning. He could have taken that car away from me, in hindsight, he should have. That car was my freedom as is the case with most teenagers. A dangerous thing in my opinion and experience. But he loved me and gave me another chance. He gave me an undeserved chance to redeem myself and to gain his trust again.
Fast forward twenty years....Nathan lives on his own with a couple of friends- he's 19 now. He's had a rocky road to say the least. I have been scratching my head trying to figure out why my mom gives him so many chances...to redeem himself. In the logical mindset, one would say he has burned all the bridges he's had. He doesn't deserve any more chances. But because as parents, we want success for our children, it's hard to see when the chance has actually become abusive. We want to see them grow and learn from their mistakes- even if they keep making the same ones over and over again. So when do you say, enough is enough? According to this book, you don't. I don't know if I completely agree with it, but I understand it now. It's more about the parents than anything else. But if in the process of giving them their chance to prove themselves, we are giving them the tools to be destructive, we aren't helping, but hurting them. For instance, if you take a drug addict and put them in a room full of prescriptions alone, most likely they will choose the drugs over pleasing the parent. It's all about how they will feel, not how their upset their parent will be. And some of it has to do with age. Teenagers are self-absorbed beings, sometimes they never even grow out of that!
Sometimes it's hard for me to get beyond the strict format I want to follow in raising my own kids. I see the mistakes I made and I don't want my kids to make them. I feel strongly against them driving until they are 18. Tyler is not too pleased about that and Paul thinks I'm over-cautious, but I've seen the results over and over again. Same goes for video games- we will not own any type of playstation, game cube, etc. It takes their youth and sucks out their intelligence. God doesn't want our children to fall into addiction and that's exactly what happens. Once they can become addicted to something, it's actually easier for them to become addicted to other things like drugs and alcohol. And there have been studies involving video games and the tendancy for violence and brain numbing. The results were shown in our school complete with MRI's of the brain addicted to video games. The neuron response is severly slowed when shown pictures of murder. It doesn't phase them. And so we all wonder why there is school shootings...um yeah. It's not rocket science.
When I finish the book, I will write a conclusion to this. It's filled with precious poems in odd places from various people, but mostly Ruth. It really is a gem of book.