gymnazo

The title derives from the Greek and means to do things over and over until it becomes automatic. That's what I'm doing these days. Gymnazo.
When my husband comes home hours late and I want to question and voice displeasure- I'm practicing gymnazo- my response the way God wants me to respond. And it's working! It's hard to train an old dog new tricks, but doing it over and over again- it really does start to become automatic- or is it in some instances that we become numb. Maybe God wants us to become numb- to not fly off the handle at the lack of consideration a man can exhibit. I feel as if I'm finally becoming the clay that God wants- now if I can just let him continue to mold me- that's key!
I've been hurt alot by family. I've been blessed alot by family as well, but the hurts are what you tend to build the walls up in response to. Even forgiveness doesn't take the walls down, it's love that does and that's something else I'm learning. I've just recently started a new small group and it's on the fruits of the spirit. I didn't realize until lately, that I've been really hung up on the love part of it. Sometimes it's hard to put my finger on- to feel it tangibly. But just this week, read that love is sacrificing for another. I balled my eyes out- I do that- I sacrifice for my kids, and Paul- but I don't sacrifice much outside of my home. We have little, but others have less. We've eaten our share of peanut butter and Jelly lately- let me tell you- but there are others down the road maybe that have less than that. So it's been humbling to say the least. I can stress about feeding my family after the bills are paid, but others can't pay their bills. Others can't live paycheck to paycheck because they just got layed off. So even in troubled times, I need to see the big picture. The spare change that's in my wallet can be put in the offering plate and it'll be put to use even if it's not more than a dollar- it can be used. Pride took over though and I kept that change- how could I give so little? It's giving when you have nothing more to give- that's love. That's sacrificing for another. Mold me Lord- I'm learning little by little but by your grace.